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16-Mar-2017 07:34

You can no longer see my otherness from the outside.

I’ve been really conflicted about how to plan a straight wedding as a bisexual girl, especially because weddings are so steeped in heteronormative tradition.

Figuring out how to be bisexual in a monogamous opposite-sex relationship has been an uphill climb.

Devon is amazingly empathetic, intelligent, and radical, but when I first met him he’d been in the Marine Corps for almost eight years and had some, ahem, reevaluation of his vocabulary to do.

For me, the lesbian community was an amazing, understands-without-having-to-explain fit for my feminist self. I was protected and understood by a community of fierce women. By then, my sexual identity had taken on a life of its own.

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Devon was in the Marine Corps and had just gotten back from a deployment, which was why I’d never met him before. We first tried to figure out if we’d known each other as children or something, the familiarity between us was so strong. The makings of a great love were there on every level—intellectual challenge, emotional connection, and physical attraction.

A feminist, peace-and-love, outspoken “gay” girl with a tech geek, fresh-from-deployment Marine? In fact, our plainly visible happiness made it pretty easy for our friends to accept.