Dating intimacy issues ang dating daan vs catholic
However, once we've cooled down and have our emotions in check, we should have an open dialogue with our partner about the patterns or issues we observe.
We can draw them out and really listen to what the experience was like for our partner.
In this blog, I want to offer a few ways to work on overcoming a fear of intimacy that may exist in our partners and even in ourselves: Don't build a case Although relationships can feel like a tug of war with one of us struggling to pull closer while the other resists, engaging in the blame game is never the solution.
Too often, we build a case against the people we are involved with.
When we don't see all aspects of a person, we become bent out of shape ourselves.
A good exercise is to look at what our partner does that we dislike the most, then think about what we do right before that. Do we talk down to them by trying to fix their problems or telling them what to do? Sometimes these reactions are positive, and sometimes they are negative.Many people have developed defenses that make them intolerant of too much love, attention or affection.Our personal limitations and insecurities are regularly acted out in our closest relationships.We start to filter and distort our view of them, so that they fit into the case we've built against them.
We fail to see our partners as they really are, with strengths and with weaknesses.Very often, our current reactions (especially our overreactions) are based on negative programming from our past.In the blog "Why You Keep Winding Up in the Same Relationship," I discussed how and why we form defenses that make it difficult to get close.If a partner is unwilling to open up, do we do anything that might contribute to them shutting down? The reasons for this are complex and have a lot to do with how we've learned to see ourselves and the world around us throughout our lives.