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04-Mar-2017 12:35

The relationship will begin to stall on key points and the tension around unresolved issues will continue to build.While this type of relationship might not completely dissolve over the course of one or two major explosive arguments, having the same unresolved issues crop up again and again over time can lead to breakups and a lot of unhappiness.In fact, those relationships in which two people never fight are nearly always filled with repressed resentments that eventually explode into damaging arguments.And because partners in these types of relationships are not used to managing conflict on a regular basis, neither one has the skills necessary to solve the problems that have come up.Chances are, once the person is "out of your face" your memory will recall some of the things you love about him or her and you can go back home (or get together) and settle your disagreement more easily. Always remember who you are talking to: Fighting can bring out real feelings of disgust, anger, frustration, and even hatred. If you can find humor in your fight, that's the best. Lots of times, if you start laughing, or make a joke, and then say, "Why are we fighting?Remember that if you are with the right person, he or she is also your best friend, no matter what. There's nothing wrong with accepting something if you feel okay with it. Have a no bad language or name calling rule: Using four letter words and derogatory language is just setting you up for years of resentment. I love you and I'm sorry, let's just have fun tonight," your spouse will take your lead and follow, and you'll end up making up at that moment.

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But don’t worry—even if you or your partner (or both!

In the heat of an argument it’s easy to succumb to fighting dirty to “win,” especially when you might feel you’re not being heard, but you could be damaging your relationship.

By learning how to fight fairly, conflict can become a tool for deepening the bonds you share. It is a popular myth that the goal of a perfect relationship is to be conflict free.

" From that moment on, our guards were down and we were able to communicate so much more effectively.

That was the turning point that helped us work it out. You are supposed to be nicer to that person than anyone else on earth. In other words, you don't always have to convince your spouse to agree that you are right. Both men and women do not forget those things so quickly. Have sex: Physical contact really helps regain closeness and intimacy. Sex won't solve all your issues, but it really does help people feel a sense of love and closeness. There are exceptions and there are deal breakers, of course.No matter how much anger you are feeling, try to remember that. Hug him or her if he or she says something you agree with: I once had an argument with my boyfriend that lasted for a few days. If someone just told you he or she cheated, or if they physically abuse you, I don't think a laugh or having sex or agreeing to disagree is an effective method for ending the fight. Jackie Pilossoph is the author of the blog, Divorced Girl Smiling.Kaepernick and Nessa were not photographed together.

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